


It's a Goddamn Mess, I guess

by Reading_with_Winchesters



Series: Draco and Harry come out as married [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, And the goddamn Cursed Child doesn't exist, Angst, Auror Harry, Cute, Fluff, Funny, Healer Draco, I hope, Implied Sexual Content, In that Draco and Harry are together, M/M, Marriage, Spells Gone Wrong, howlers, only a little, relationships, spells
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-24
Updated: 2017-05-24
Packaged: 2018-11-04 10:08:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10988745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reading_with_Winchesters/pseuds/Reading_with_Winchesters
Summary: Harry and Draco are out, here comes the consequences





	It's a Goddamn Mess, I guess

 

The Monday after the article came out, Harry and Draco went to work. The Tuesday after the article came out, Harry and Draco were asked to take the week off.

 

Draco’s patients could not stop asking him about Harry and how  _ he _ of all people had landed the chosen one and how he had done it and how they were together and what Harry was really like and really? A Death Eater? Suffice to say, Draco may or may not have caused an injury today - the opposite of what was expected from a healer.

 

Harry had gotten lost in two separate chases that day because reporters had surrounded him and he could not get out. As an Auror, it was pretty important for him to actually catch the bad guys, and journalists were getting in the way of him and his team; it was more important to catch the villains than to have Harry Potter employed. So, although it was not Harry’s fault, he was out of a job for the next week.

 

“Think of it as a second honeymoon!” Harry said when he got home that afternoon. He had been sent home early, but not as early as Draco. Draco mocked him before bitterly complaining that, “maybe this was a good thing for you Harry, but I have people to take care of.”

 

“And I have people to catch.” Harry responded without missing a beat, he was used to his boyfriend’s antics. He plopped down on the couch next to him, threw an arm around him, and placed a purposefully wet kiss on his cheek before continuing, “But they can wait.”

 

Draco looked disgusted, but Harry’s arm was placed in a way that made it impossible for him to wipe his face. Not that he didn’t do something about it: he moved his head quickly and wiped his face on Harry’s, who laughed out loud and tackled Draco, pushing him onto the floor so he was pinned under Harry - completely at his mercy.

 

This would have been a prime time to make out, and Harry was about to go for it when another goddamn screech echoed through the house. 

 

Harry sighed and Draco groaned, “The last one came in half a bloody hour ago, why do so many people care?”

 

“I  _ am _ the Chosen One.” Harry said teasingly. Draco was not amused and shoved him to the ground before stalking over to the owl. His blond head had barely disappeared through the doorway before a “Fuck!” sounded loudly and screaming came from the kitchen: the letter was another Howler. Harry had lost count of how many he had received after the first day.

 

This one, however, was quite creative:

 

_ THE GAYS ARE TAKING OVER! I THOUGHT IT WAS BAD ENOUGH WHEN THEY TOOK DUMBLEDORE, BUT THE CHOSEN ONE? REALLY? THE GAYS ARE FUCKING SELFISH! _

 

_ HARRY, JUST GET A FUCKING GIRLFRIEND ALREADY, THAT WILL SORT THIS ALL OUT! I DON’T GIVE A SHIT IF SHE IS A BLOODY TROLL. JUST GET A BLOODY FEMALE, IT’S NOT THAT BLOODY HARD YOU DICK. _

 

_ AND MALFOY, YOU TOO! I DON’T REALLY CARE BECAUSE YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE, BUT PLEASE, DO THE WORLD ONE RIGHT THING AND FUCKING MARRY A GIRL. YOU PEOPLE FUCKING SUCK. _

 

_ STOP SUCKING EACH OTHERS’ DICKS LONG ENOUGH TO REALIZE THAT YOU ARE DISGUSTING AND WHAT YOU’RE DOING IS DISGUSTING AND PLEASE JUST GET SOME GIRLFRIENDS. _

 

_ AND IF YOU ARE GONNA BE GAY, DON’T SHOVE IT IN OUR FUCKING FACES YOU FUCKING ASSSHITWIPES! NOBODY WANTS TO KNOW ABOUT YOUR GAY ASS SEX LIFE, NO MATTER HOW FAMOUS YOU ARE! BE POLITE AND SHOW SOME FUCKING RESPECT! _

 

And with that, the Howler exploded. Harry had not moved from his spot on the floor by the time Draco had come back into the room, eyes wide and hair covered in rainbow colored ashes.

 

The minute they locked eyes, they burst out laughing. Of all the letters they had gotten, this was the absolute best.

 

“This - this - this - was, this - was - the - the - bloody best!” Draco managed through gales of hysteria.

 

“It was even - even better - than - than - the one that told - told you to go suck Jesus’ dick!” Harry was wiping tears from his eyes. The new memory of that particular letter made them laugh even harder again.

 

Harry stood up and walked over to Draco, still a little doubled over, and tried to wipe the ashes from his hair. The ashes came off - they were too bloody distracting - but the colors did not.

 

Harry froze: he was suddenly faced with a very hard decision. If he told Draco about his newly rainbow hair he would immediately do everything to get it out; if he did not tell Draco, he would get to look at it all day, maybe even sneak a picture with the camera he kept hidden in his bedside table, but Draco would be mad at him, and good things never happened when Draco was mad.

 

“Bloody hell, Potter, I knew you were slow but how long does it take to wipe ashes off my head?” Draco asked, ever the charmer.

 

It was then and there that Harry chose not to tell him, and deal with the consequences later. “Bug off, Malfoy.” He said, rolling his eyes while he mentally took note to grab his camera as soon as the opportunity presented itself, “If you don’t like me then just go get a female, I’ve heard they aren’t dicks.”

 

“Ah, but they don’t have dicks.” Draco did not miss a beat.

 

“Well, then I guess you’re stuck with me.” Harry grinned, throwing his arms around Draco’s neck and kissing him lightly.

 

“I guess I am.” Draco smiled softly. Then the moment was over and Draco’s expression hardened:

 

“How long do you think it will take before this all blows over?”

 

Harry backed up, putting his hands into his own hair and slouching down a bit. He sighed, “I don’t know. But there’s nothing we can do except ride the wave. We knew there would be consequences and here they are. I mean, I love my job and all, but I love you more. I’m glad we did this, but the next few weeks or even months will not be easy.”

 

“Yeah,” Draco said quietly, “I know.” There was silence for a second and then, “I agree though. No matter what happens or how long we have to stay under the radar, I’m glad we came out. It was time and I want everyone everywhere to know you’re mine.”

 

Harry smirked, “I’m yours, huh?”

 

“You bet your fine ass you are.”

 

“Try telling that to all my fans out there.”

 

“Trust me, if it comes to it, I will take every last Potterhead down, do not doubt me.”

 

“I would never doubt you.”

 

“You’d better bloody not. I’m brilliant.”

 

Harry snorted, “It’s hard to take you seriously with your hair like that.” The words had barely left his mouth when he realized his mistake.

 

Draco froze, smile slowly disappearing, “With my hair like what?” He asked, voice deadly soft. One of the first things Harry had learned about Draco was not to mess with ihs hair. It was his most prized possession, and, if left to his own devices, he would spend over an hour in the morning styling it. Harry knew; he had seen it happen.

 

And now his hair was a multitude of different colors, none of which were natural, and none of which Harry had the slightest idea how to fix.

 

By the time Harry opened his mouth to speak, Draco was long gone and there was a short scream from the bathroom. Under different circumstances Harry would have laughed: that scream sounded exactly like Dudley at age four.

 

But instead, like the loving husband he was, Harry went to check on his love and help undo whatever damage he could.

 

Sadly, Draco was not that rational. Harry got to the bathroom to see Draco furiously scrubbing at his hair under the sink faucet, shampoo everywhere. “You bastard!” He growled over the rushing water, “How the hell did this even get there?”

 

“It was the letter.” Harry told him honestly, “Those ashes were charmed to dye your hair. I’m not sure how to get it out and I don’t want to risk ruining your hair.” He smirked a little, “Besides, I think it’s kinda cute.

 

The water stopped running. Draco stood up slowing, magicking his hair dry so it wouldn’t drip all over his clothes - he was still wearing his healer’s uniform after all. He turned around and Harry had no time to dodge the spell that Draco threw at him as soon as his wand was pointing the right way.

 

“What the-” Harry had no time for the shock to register before another one hit him. He learned his lesson this time and ran for it. Down the hallway, through the kitchen, up the stairs and into his and Draco’s bedroom. The rage Draco was feeling must be a lot worse than Harry had expected.

 

That was when he walked past the mirror Draco insisted on keeping in the room. Harry had thought it was pointless and that the bathroom attached to the room would be have more than enough mirror to get them by. Draco had almost fainted and had insisted on calling Harry a heathen for the next month. Apparently it was unacceptable not to have a full length mirror where you get dressed in order to check your outfit as quickly as possible and shave a few minutes off the morning routine. Harry had given in easily: whatever made Draco happy was good enough for him.

 

Except, in this particular situation, Harry would much rather not have the mirror right there, because the mirror’s presence meant he was able to look at himself. Specifically, at his hair, which now rivaled Draco’s is color and brightness.

 

Footsteps sounded down the hall and stopped right in front of the locked door. Harry winced and waited for Draco to unlock the door and shoot even more spells. Maybe this time he would turn his skin green. The door unlocked, but no spells were cast. Draco just stood there, appraising Harry silently.

 

“You know,” Draco said, reverting to the drawl he used to use at school, “I think it’s kinda cute.” Harry stared for a second before beginning to snicker.

 

“Shut up, Potter, this is not a laughing matter.”

 

Harry could not stop, “You know, it’s a lot harder to take you seriously when your hair is like that.” He was laughing out right now, completely forgetting that his own hair had been ruined. “And I’m not lying, you look like a My Little Pony!” He was almost doubled over, laughter racking his body as he conjured the mental image of an affronted My Little Pony Draco.

 

“Oh don’t spew that muggle crap now! I look like a bloody rainbow and there’s no way to remove the spell!” Draco was starting to look genuinely upset, and that was what stopped Harry’s mirth.

 

“Hey now,” He stood up, walking over and slinging his arms around his husband’s shoulders, “I doubt it’s permanent. It will wear off soon, and it’s not like we have to leave the house soon anyway.” He smiled, “This is just for me, and I like it.” He pressed a kiss to Draco’s lips.

 

Draco kissed back, but as soon as the kiss broke he mumbled, “Doesn’t mean I like it.”

 

“Hey, come on,” Harry tried, “If you promise not to hex me anymore I’ll go back to the bathroom with you and try to fix your hair.”

 

“As if the likes of you could find a spell I couldn’t.”

 

“Bloody hell, do you want my help or not?”

 

“...Yeah, I guess.”

 

They kissed once more and went off to fix Draco’s hair. And maybe do a little something else, but that was irrelevant.

**Author's Note:**

> Love you all thanks for reading, sorry if it's shit, I did not reread this at all! Leave kudos or a comment to let me know what you think. Thank you so much and I hope you enjoyed!


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